Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Trials.

(Feel free to skip this one.  Just sharing some thoughts from my week.)

We all have them.  No matter what they affect each of us.  We all grow from them and we know they are for our benefit even if at the time they seem to weigh us down and even bury us in grief or sorrow.

I can't even call this (JC being gone) a trial. For goodness sakes... we begged and prayed for this.  It was a long process of pleading, prayers, phone calls, and convincing others that is would be for our good and we really wanted to do this.  (We are really that crazy.)  We took Elder Eyring's message literally when he told us we should pray for more trials... so maybe I can call this a trial?  Maybe.

So, in the midst of my trial ;)  we have had quite the month. The short story is, I remember telling some friends back in January that my kids are never sick (I even knocked on wood).  Apparently, I needed some humbling.  We have been hit the last month and a half with everything, you name it... Stomach bug, (which we most surely gave to everyone around us at a party and I'm still not sure how we contracted the dang thing after being shut in the house for 4 days due to snow storms! Ahh!)  (I hate spreading illness's.)  Zenock, my child who is never sick even got it.  A week later we all got colds.  A week later, my little Nolan had a bright red belly button with drainage... what the?!?  It turned out he had a strep infection!  (Again, what?  Is that even possible in your belly button!?)   In the middle of all of that, I somehow thought it was necessary to break my foot... falling out of the back of my car.  Ok, laugh. :) (Don't ask, I have no recollection of what happened.)  As of a new x-ray yesterday, I only have to wear a boot for 3 more weeks.  No surgery.  I also had stitches this month.  To give you a real idea, we rarely, if ever miss church... In the last 6 weeks, we have missed 4 weeks of church.  I'm officially inactive.  I finally felt like we were getting better Friday morning... we even went to a ward dinner this last Friday night.  

Then, Saturday morning hit.  Kamden woke up with his eye swollen shut.  I knew it was Pink Eye right away.  (Sorry AGAIN, ward family.  We may have just infected you all again.  Ahh!)  Zenock was complaining of a sore throat, so I took them both to the Dr. and Diagnosis confirmed...  Pink Eye AND Strep.  

Awesome.

At this point, I am feeling like a great Mom.  Strike me down, bring it on, I can handle anything.  Ok, Not really, I was ready to fall apart.  I had two early drs appointments Monday morning for myself and I couldn't take my kids, but now what was I supposed to do.  I couldn't leave them with friends when they were sick!  I was feeling pretty sorry for myself.   Zenock had a baseball game Saturday afternoon.  It was opening day... Baseball is a pretty non-contact sport and he was feeling ok, so we went. (Awful Mom, I know.  I didn't want him to miss it though.)  

As I stood there while the team was warming up at the batting cages I was talking to some of the other Moms.  There was a reason why I was there that day... The conversation has been on repeat in my mind over and over and I can't stop thinking about it.  

One of the Moms had a brain tumor last Summer and just recently finished radiation and chemo.  Her hair is just growing back and she was up beat, laughing, and showing me her bald spots.  This is her 2nd battle.
Another Mom was wearing a boot like mine and has been in so much pain with her ankle.  The Drs don't know what it is and just keep giving her medication which doesn't help.
Another Mom announced that she got her cancer free screening back in January.  She had had cancer all of last year.  

They are all close to my age and have boys Zenocks age.

These ladies then turned to me and said, "So we hear your husband is in Afghanistan.  How do you do it?  You are so amazing."

I was speechless.  I seriously spattered out my next words.  Words that I say on repeat.  "This isn't hard, anyone can do it.  Time is on my side and luckily, the more time that goes by the sooner my husband will be home."  Hopefully, they had no idea that under my dark sunglasses, I was bawling like a baby.  I am amazing?! Ha!  I am just living.  I prayed for my trial.  I am not doing anything different than before.  It is easy.  There is no pain, (except, the heartache of missing the one you love the most).  But, none of these women asked for their trials.  I sat through out the game amazed at these women and all they have been through.  I hope my trials are always so simple in comparison.   

Sometimes we look around and see the outside of people, we judge them quickly, and think they must have it so easy.  We have no idea what their trials are or what lies on the inside.  The truth is, no one is exempt from trials in this life.

"Just when all seems to be going right.  Challenges often come in multiple doses applied simultaneously.  When those trials are not consequences of your disobedience, they are evidence that the Lord feels you are prepared to grow more  (See Prov. 3:11-12).  He therefore gives you experiences that stimulate growth, understanding, and compassion which polish you for your everlasting benefit.  To get you from where you are to where he wants you to be requires a lot of stretching, and that generally entails discomfort and pain."

Richard G. Scott 

I have a new thought process on trials and life.  I can't say I will be prepared, but I hope I can remember to handle my trials a little bit more gracefully from here on out and be ever thankful that my Heavenly Father trusts/believes in me enough to "stretch" me, however small the trial may be.