Thursday, August 6, 2009

Conclusions...

I'm tired... I can't sleep at night... (dreaming of my new home.) I've been having lots of time to think... probably WAY too much. SO, I've come to a few conclusions...
(This one is going to be a novel... so feel free to skip it if your only here for the pictures. :)

Counting down the days until September when we move is TEN times worse than counting down the days until Christmas when I was little. It's only the 6th and I swear the days are just dragging on. Hence, the lack of sleep. :)

I've been trying to keep my time occupied with lots of little busy things... washing walls, cleaning, etc. I even volunteered to babysit our little 4 month old friend J. for the rest of the month. I am starting to wonder if I was crazy for doing so, there is lots to do and babies take up lots of time. I've been praying for opportunities to do more service, (result of a R.S. lesson) so when it comes... how do/can you deny the opportunity. It is so fun to watch Zenock play with her and entertain her. She is honestly a perfect baby... An hour nap in the morning... a four hour nap in the afternoon... never cries.

OH! How I miss those long naps that Zenock would take.... wait... He NEVER took naps like that. Jealous.

My heart goes out to her parents. They work 12 hour days, (normal for any parent who works in DC). I can't imagine only having a couple of hours a day with my newborn... or having to work 12 hours in a day! (Even though I am currently doing so by watching her.) It is heartbreaking to watch them say goodbye each morning. Oh, how grateful I am to my sweet husband for his hard work and sacrifice's to allow me to stay at home with my sweet little boy. Thank You! It means so much. :)

Once again, I have a new found respect for mother's... especially those of 2 or more. How do you juggle?? I've noticed my patience for Zenock has gone absolutely down hill. He is the sweetest little boy... sometimes overly sweet to our friend. (I think it might be his first crush.) He loves making her smile and laugh with silly games.
BUT, then there also comes the jealousy that "Mom" isn't holding him, playing with him, and attending to him every second... it's hard.
With all the nap time, feedings, etc... we've been stuck inside a little more than we like... which makes days go by even longer... for all of us.

Dear September,

PLEASE come faster!

Love, Carin

***

I always talk about my Mom on my blog... she is one of my best friends. She is always there when I need her. She knows all the answers. Somehow, I end up leaving my Dad out... That is not to say he isn't an important huge part of my life. So TODAY is the day I thought.
This one is for you Dad. :)

I was reading a friends blog the other day. She was writing about her relationship with her Dad. It touched me so much, realizing that it has almost been a year since I have seen my Dad and I probably won't see him anytime soon. I miss him...

It sometimes feels like I am on my own little mission out here. It's great/awesome! I am learning and growing and I have my little family, but I am missing my big family. I love when they come to visit and hate when we have to say goodbye. (I envision Emily's face at the airport the last time we said goodbye... sad day.) I have to remember that this is our choice and our plan for ourselves.

Have you ever noticed the bond Dads and daugthers... Mothers and sons have? I love it. It's just something that happens. It is innate in all of us. Maybe, it's because Mothers expect there daughters to be a certain way... Dads expect sons to do certain things... But Dads seem to just see the goodness in their daughters and same with Moms and sons. They just seem to have us tied around their fingers. I love having a special bond with Zenock and I can't wait to see our little girl one day and the bond I know she already has with JC.

Since reading my friends blog, I've been thinking about my Dad a lot the last couple of days. She had the lyrics to this great song on her blog... I loved it. It so reminds me about the special relationship between Dads and daughters.


I would ride on your shoulders
And look out on the world
Pretending I was big and tall like you
When you were there to hold me
I never was afraid
You made me feel there's nothing I can't do

If I'd spread my wings to fly
When I was very small
I knew that you'd be standing by
To catch me if I fall

CHORUS
You're my hero
Chasing the monsters from my room
Going on trips around the moon
The one who's always been there faithfully
You're my hero
And 'cause you're my Dad...
I'm twice as blessed and lucky to be me

As I kept on growing
We often disagreed
But you let me find myself in my own way
And it's funny, how just lately
I've come to recognize
How wise you are becoming every day
There's so much you've given me
I hope I've made you proud
You're everything a Dad should be
And it's time to tell you now

You're my hero
You didn't have to say a word
Your love was the message that I heard
Inspiring me to be all I can be
You're my hero
And 'cause you're my Dad...
I'm twice as blessed and lucky to be me

***

Kind of cheesy I know, but I loved it. I remember climbing up in my Dad's lap when I was little and always feeling so safe. I promised him I wouldn't date until I was 18, wouldn't pierce my ears, and he could go on every date with me. Sure glad he didn't hold me up to those promises and that he forgave me when I pierced my ears. I remember disagreeing with him when I was a teenager...
to only realize now how profound and smart he really was for not letting me do the things I wanted to. And now he is such a great example/hero in my life. When I'm having a bad day or complaining, I can just hear him telling me to "Look for the good in life." He is such a positive person... a characteristic I sometimes lack, although I feel like I give good effort. He is always happy doing whatever, he never complains, and he would be willing to give anyone the shirt off his back. When I came home from college after my roommate was killed, my Dad really wanted me to get right back into school. I didn't have anything to pay for school and my Dad offered to sell a cow... Yeah, it sounds funny, but seriously... My Dad knows every single cow, their stats, and has a name for them. He might not admit it, but he loves his cows. To him... Me and my feelings were worth more than a cow. Thanks Dad! I loved working outside on the farm with my Dad (most of the time.) I always knew a long day of work would be rewarded with a BIG GULP from 7-eleven. I knew if I got one, then I had done my job, I had worked hard. It was my Dad (and Mom) who taught me to work hard. When we were growing up and would fight my Dad used to threaten to put us out on the front porch (which faced a major highway) in our underwear singing "Love at Home." Luckily, I was a good child and never had to experience that threat. :) I am thankful for my Dad and all his good qualities, I am thankful for his example and for teaching me about life, but most importantly I'm thankful for his simple love of life.

Thanks Dad. Love You. Miss You.

Come Visit me in Alabama... will you?
(Bring Mom and Emily... :)

9 comments:

Ryan Reeder said...

I liked the tribute to Dad. Thanks for putting it up.

You still anticipate and get excited for things? I don't know if I've done that at all recently. I am looking forward to hearing about you guys meeting up with Kim in NYC whenever you get a chance to do that (from both blogs).

I love you and miss you too.

Heather said...

Cute, Carin - I still love my daddy too!

The Happy Holladay's said...

where in alabama are you moving? We are headed to Ft. Rucker!!!

Logan and Ryan said...

I hope Sept. comes quick for you. Your house looks so cute empty and I'm sure it will look even more cute once you can get your creative touch on it. Zenock is going to be so happy to have a yard to run in. Yeah, no more apartments for you!!! Congrats!!!

The Traylor's said...

Her sister, Trisha, is in my ward. Trisha's husband is a resident here at the childrens hospital. She had brain surgery last month and April flew our for a few weeks. It was the second time she's been out here. She's super fun, we had plans to do things, but between her helping out with her sisters FOUR little ones, and my moving and pregnancy, it just never worked out.

That's too funny though, the world sure is small! Gets smaller and smaller the older we get too. And gosh, we're still young!

Annie said...

if you would like to move out to utah for a bit, you can watch my kids for awhile :-) i bet you are so excited to get into your home! i am sure you will make it look so cute!

Chase and Ashley Winegar said...

Hey Carin.
I have some questions for you.
Will you send me your phone number so I can call you? krash_2@msn.com.
Thanks!
Ash

Destri said...

Ok I'm not afraid to admit it I have teared up eyes. That was so sweet. I know what you mean with the bond between mother and son and dad and daughter. very well done. Can't wait to see what you do with your new place!

Melissa said...

I do believe you have another sister! Haha remember how the lyrics to the song "a pinch and a spank and I love you" got changed to "a hug and a kiss and I love you" after I decided I enjoyed singing it publicly:)